You just don’t want me

Dear God, I have been thinking like this. Why do my future baby dislike me so?

I made my first return visit to the TCM alone today since Woody is overseas. As I walked from my office to the clinic, the sky just suddenly turn dark and the sudden strong wind was rare. The tourist walking pass me asked, “Does it always rain like this in Singapore?” and I think no.

So the rain started and as I walked it got so strong in such a short time the water level rose a few centimeters. And I was totally drenched despite my umbrella. And everything in my bag got wet. When I reached the clinic the lady told me 6 couples before me “just conceived” and the doctor will have to spend more time talking to them. So wet, cold, alone and hungry, I went next door and had a good dinner in a posh restaurant.

I waited from 6:30 and it is 8:30 now. Not my turn yet.

Then when it was consultation time. The doctor told me she didn’t note down Woody’s problem with white blood cell (give him the wrong medicine then) and she marked the wrong day for us to baby dance. Oh gosh… I feel so tired after this whole evening of TCM fertility treatment.

And started bleeding a bit by the time I got home.

I feel defeated and wants to cry. My legs are tired, my tummy bloated and my period is here.

Baby… Do you hate mummy so much?
Put me through so much worry, the hours of medicine boiling.
Horrible weather elements.
Long wait.

You just don’t want me…



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