Dear God, thank you for letting me pass my driving today. This is my only one attempt and I am really happy!
On a different note. Woody and I had a heart to heart argument. Probably the second time since the infertility problem started. I don’t understand why he is so in denial and how I felt so cheated of my womanhood. God, I really am no saint. I am not a good person. Woody is not helping me cope with the infertility problem. It is his morphology and white blood cell that is preventing me from being a mum. But it is my concern and not his. He feels that having or not having a child is not as important. For me it was my lifelong dream to be a mum. I started stuffing my soft toys beneath my dress playing pregnant since I was three.
Tomorrow I will be at the fertility clinic at 7:45 am hoping they can do a ovulation scan so as to proceed with the IUI. Woody need not join. Thursday, I arranged for the visit to the TCM.
Maybe I sound stressed. But I am born a doer and doing nothing is more stressful for me.
That is why I hate Woody’s laid back ways.
I am 32 years old now. And lives in a traditional family and society.
But God, will I be happier if I divorce and move on.
Because I know that if we tried for another 5 years and nothing happens, we will still end up in a divorce. By then I will really be too old to have my own child.
I hate this life very much.
Nobody except my mum has let me down more than Woody has.