Dear God, we have not received any calls today from the IVF lab. I assume no news is good news.
Yesterday, our little sun conure parrot said “goodnight” for the first time and many times over. He is really a daring. He knows I am emotionally hurt and is trying hard to make me happy again. That brought us a lot of laughters before bedtime.
But I still teared a little before sleep. I guess it is inevitable worry and the feeling of unknowns. Plus the fear of more IVFs to come if this cycle yields so little.
Lastly, I am sorry God. But I believe I cried last night mainly because I felt abandon by you. I felt you don’t love me anymore and I don’t know why.
And Susan is pregnant second time. God must be busy helping her. She had a tough time since we were 24 yo. Suffered from severe endometriosis and failing womb. But this is her second natural conception. I envy her many miracles. While I am happy for her, I am really sad for myself.