Fight with hubby

Dear God, I felt hurt and blamed yesterday when hubby says his friend is getting pregnant. Why do some woman get  pregnant so easy?

I got very frustrated because I felt he has conveniently forgotten he is the one with sperm morphology, which is the only fertility issue we have so far.

Even since I started IVF, I have been needle poking myself day and night. He doesn’t have to share any burden except for the bill. Because life is so easy for him as we go through the cycle, he probably forgot he was the cause of all my miserable long wait at the doctor, the needle poking, the hormone injecting that makes me so moody and stress wondering if it will cause my health.

In our Taiwan trip, I had no dip in the hot spring at all. While he enjoy his life like normal. But his sperms are not normal. They are only 2% normal after wash, less than a percent normal before wash.

I felt very abandoned by God some days. I felt very alone and stress. My husband and I have been together 6 years. First three years we used condoms. Now, I am old. He has grown into my best friend and we know each other so well. Yet on days like yesterday, I couldn’t help ask if I married the wrong guy and wasted all my life.


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